1. I have three brothers, and I'm lucky enough to live in the same city as all of them.
  2. Even though I love them more than they love me, those assholes.
  3. We're all grown up, and three of us are married, and we all like to hang out.
  4. We're like, living in that moment our mom used to talk about when we fought as kids.
  5. "I know you hate your brother now, and getting along is hard, but one day it will be easier and you will all be friends."
    She said through desperate tears.
  6. My older brother and his wife like to throw house parties. Like, college style. With drinking games, loud music, dancing...
    Except there's food too, which I never saw up for grabs at a college party, now that I think of it.
  7. And they are THE BEST parties.
  8. All the sibs go, our friends are there, we laugh and drink and play games and make ✨memories✨
  9. And everyone gets juuuuuust the right amount of drunk.
  10. ...except my youngest brother who just turned 21.
  11. Now, Austin is the one we never worried about. He's the heartfelt singer/songwriter/musician.
  12. And he has lots of quirks, like when we took him out for his 21st birthday, he brought along a gallon of water.
    A GALLON. He was a scrawny ginger kid at a bar carrying around a full gallon of water.
  13. Gotta hydrate tho.
  14. And he's the youngest, so is basically the perfect kid.
    Always doing that mowing my parents' yard and putting up their outdoor Christmas lights without them asking shit.
  15. So like, we don't worry about him. He's good.
  16. Plus, we're all older and know how to drink. It's easy to forget that one of us is a little different. He didn't have that in-college experience (he lived with my parents while getting his degree) and these are literally the only parties he goes to where people are drinking.
  17. It's easy to forget that.
  18. Anyway, last night was the Hafner Christmas party, and we were all there having a blast.
  19. And instead of worrying about Austin,we cheered him on in beer pong, and everyone made him drink during Kings, because he's the youngest kid there out of everyone and everyone wants to be his pal and get him to drink.
  20. Makes sense.
  21. Around 1:30am, he pukes all over the bathroom sink.
  22. Poor kid doesn't even know the right place to puke yet! He's a baby, guys.
  23. Around 1:36am, he pukes in the toilet.
  24. At 2am, he puked outside.
  25. At 2:30, he made it to the toilet just in time, but got some on his pants.
  26. My older brother, upon looking at the condition of his one and only bathroom, *couldn't even* and went to get help.
  27. He can't look at puke without vomiting. I witnessed this as a child.
  28. And who stepped up?
  29. None other than the best brother-in-law in the world, Brett!
  30. *Cue superhero music*
  31. Dat husband of mine scooped puke out of the sink with a red solo cup.
  32. And wiped things down.
  33. And basically earned several jewels in his heavenly crown.
  34. Austin might be the good kid that mows the lawn, but my husband is a SAINT.
  35. He came downstairs basically to boisterous applause.
  36. Everyone's all, "Brett, you are such a good guy! Hanna, he's so great! Doesn't this make you want to make out with him?"
  37. And I was all, "Totally, minus the graphic knowledge about his recent proximity to puke, sure."
  38. And they were like, "Oh, come off it! Kiss him kiss him kiss him!"
  39. He walked up to me (and oh my gawd, he looked so handsome) and someone yelled, "Look at him, he wants it!"
  40. And he laid a smacker on me like it was our wedding day.
  41. 💕
  42. Seriously tho, I married a hero.
  43. And Austin rallied.
  44. And Brett and I crawled into bed around 3am.
  45. And now I'm awake with an awful headache and I can't get back to sleep.
  46. Worth it.
  47. ✌🏼 Merry Xmas