HOW U CAN TELL IF I HAVE A CRUSH ON U

If you are a boy (girl version t b continued)
  1. I punch you in the stomach for random reasons
    With annoying frequency
  2. You are the last person I talk to if you entered into a group hang situation
    But I am telepathically aware
  3. I complain that your man perfume is too strong
    Prolly because my senses are already hyper around you 😢
  4. When we hang, I show up one time in a push up bra and another no bra
    Just to give u an honest preview
  5. I start to wear socks to things
  6. I stalk enough of you on FB that I start popping up on your newsfeed a lot
    I think that's how FB is designed, isn't it
  7. I would try to set you up with another girl
    Hoping that you would express that you are not interested
  8. I would give you really good relationship advice
    Because in my head I'm already practicing being the best girlfriend
  9. If we are hanging and a dog comes in my vicinity, I would extra enthusiastically gush about it
    So you know I have warm emotions too and to see if you would get jealous (of a dog)
  10. I would rarely compliment you
    But when I do, it will be mumbled. I might even be looking at somebody else while saying it
  11. In your vicinity, I would talk about my plans to have people over dinner and not invite any specific one
  12. Basically I would do my best to make sure that you don't know I have a crush.
    And why I am currently not getting laid