THINGS YOU CAN DO BETTER

We can all try harder
  1. have emergency chocolate in your backpack
  2. And share the emergency chocolate with others
  3. Freak out less when you see pregnant women
  4. Swear less, or more creatively
  5. Recycle
  6. Judge less the mass of people looking at their phone screen
    Because maybe they are sending a career-defining email of their lives at that moment or inventing a super useful app while they are at it
  7. Wash hands after eating pizza
    You know napkins won't do. And it feels nice and smells even nicer.
  8. Watch movies at the movie theater more often
  9. Ask more questions of one another
    Any answer someone gives me about him/herself saves me from assuming
  10. Get your parents to LOL
    I'm not a comedian or anything but I feel like I should try.
  11. Use the word Jizz for playfully
    Like, "are you jizzing me right now?!" Should mean something good.
  12. Tuck your roommate in
    If your roommate is the type to fall asleep with the lights on, laptop on their belly with their glasses still on, maybe knock on their door before you go to bed and tuck them in if they're passed out. The roommate won't remember it in the morning but when you tell them much much later, they will feel truly loved. I was always the former roommate so I can try harder 🙌
  13. Avoid eye contacts less!
  14. If you are a dog owner
    Please let me hang out with your dog longer!!!!!!!