8 Explanations Why Your Bodily Functions Are OK

Everyone has them. Why do we pretend we don't?
  1. 1.
    Burping Contest
    "Real ladies don't burp." Ok, that's nice. I'm going to burp anyway, because most EVERYONE burps. If you don't burp, you fart, and if you don't fart, you burp. So don't hold it in to be "lady-like" or because people have taught you that burping is gross. It is a bodily function! Just cover your mouth when doing so. People can accept that you burp, but that doesn't mean they want to smell it.
  2. 2.
    Explosive Diarrhea
    Diarrhea is an ailment, no matter what people say. I've had friends who were sick but lied and said they had the "flu" rather than say "diarrhea" for fear of embarrassment. Everyone can get diarrhea, and if you haven't, you're damn lucky. Diarrhea is shit (and a lot of it), and if you braved through such a problem, don't be afraid to tell anyone. Diarrhea is natural, because not everything gets along well with your stomach.
  3. 3.
    Bloody Hell
    Periods. I don't know why they gross people out so much. Sure, you're bleeding nonstop for a week, but if I want to talk about changing my tampon/pad, I will, no matter how uncomfortable someone else is. Because honestly, why should they be uncomfortable? I'm the one bleeding!
  4. 4.
    Cutting the Cheese
    Gas hurts. If you've ever had gas pains, you know what I'm saying. And the only relief is farting, something that people dub "crass" and "gross". But, it makes me feel better, so why should I care if you think I'm gross for farting? Everyone farts! Therefore, fart if you need to, "let it rip". Don't let others' judgment stand in the way of letting yourself feel better. But if you're notorious for smelly farts, leave the room. No one really wants to smell that.
  5. 5.
    ICUP
    The most uncomfortable thing in life is when there are two people in the bathroom, and only one of them is peeing. Sometimes you feel as if your peeing can be heard outside of the restroom! But honestly, everyone pees. If you don't pee, you either are dehydrated or have kidney stones, so be proud that you pee! Plus, holding in pee is unhealthy for you. So don't wait until that person leaves the bathroom. Let them know just how hydrated you really are.
  6. 6.
    Oh Shit
    Pooping, for some reason, is gross. Although you're supposed to poop every day, people love to claim that they don't poop because "pooping is gross". Well, sadly, no one healthy cannot just refuse to poop. When it's coming, it's coming. So hurry to the bathroom and check for toilet paper, you might need a lot. And if people wonder why you were in the bathroom so long, don't hesitate. Tell them the truth. They poop too.
  7. 7.
    The Boogie Monster
    My science teacher once told me that boogers were actually bacteria that went into your nose, were covered with mucus, and were left to be expelled from your body. So technically, picking your boogers is a good thing. Obviously, picking them and throwing them on the floor is gross because that's on your floor. But a daily cleaning out of your nose is healthy, plus it's hard to breathe with all those boogers cramping up your space. Therefore, "dig for that gold", it's ok.
  8. 8.
    Dandruff Danny
    Made famous by "Dandruff Danny" from Hannah Montana, we were taught that dandruff is gross. But honestly, it's really not. Dandruff is just dry skin on your scalp. You have dry skin everywhere, and it's not gross everywhere else. Just remember to wash out all conditioner and shampoo (to avoid product build-up that looks like dandruff), and if you have dandruff, who cares? Embrace it. Everyone has dry skin.