WORDS AND PHRASES MY MORMON FRIENDS SAY TOO OFTEN

They are really trying to kill me.
  1. OPPORTUNITY
    You cannot get through ten minutes at church without hearing this word. You cannot!
  2. It will bless your life...
    Perhaps the least specific and most meaningless phrase ever uttered.
  3. Close quote
    Even worse when it's someone who isn't an apostle is trying to sound like one.
  4. We're thankful for this day...
    We might be a cult...
  5. Moisture
    You guys, no. Don't ask the God of the universe for this. Just don't. Just...don't.
  6. For those of you who don't know me...
    Oh hell, it is a cult.
  7. Nourish and strengthen
    Nephi was the first to say it. Thanks a lot guy! Also "do us the good that we need" is not better!
  8. Harm or accident
    Even worse if the words "befall" or "fall upon us" get involved.
  9. Weird uses of the word "even"
    "Even Thomas S. Monson..."
  10. Wonderful
    Not to me.
  11. Prophet-a-God
    I know he is a true prophet-a-God.
  12. "I promised myself I wouldn't do this. "
    I'm skeptical.
  13. Heavy petting
    Something that youth are told not to do. However, not a soul knows what it means. See: necking
  14. "So called ______"
    Just plug in whatever you hate and you're off!
  15. "I wasn't going to get up here but..."
    Let me guess, your heart was racing.
  16. We will sing on page...
    Really? On the page? Alright!
  17. "With all the fiber of my being..."
    Much fibers. Many being. Wow. See:"shadow of a doubt"
  18. Busom
    Unless you're reading out of the good book find another word less reminiscent of boobs.
  19. In the name of thy son...
    You better hope to his dad you're saying a prayer right now.