THINGS ALEC HAS SAID TO ME RECENTLY
- •"Let's make a list of alternative pets. I'll start: a hog."
- •"You used to think I was cute, now I'm just a trash bucket to you."
- •"What I like about the book you bought me is that it helps me go to sleep."
- •"Don't mock me. I mock myself."
- •"I pop Pepcid AC's like a bad girl."
- •"She's tweezed herself rotten."
- •"I want to watch a prison show or I don't want to watch anything."
- •"I did my part of the clean up - I put all of the sauces away."