For reals guys cocaine ruins lives but you wouldn't know it from these jolly descriptions
  1. The Snow
    "he's neck deep in the snow" might suggest a crippling habit that threatens to ruin more than one life, but it sounds like a winter outing.
  2. Bizzo
    "Dad's back on the bizzo" is obviously a tragic admittance of defeat from a son tired of reaching for a relationship long lost to the sands of time, but also, sounds a bit like a breakfast cereal.
  3. Gak
    "The teacher was up to his nose in Gak" is a recipe for a lot of wasted lives, but Gak is also the name of quite a big music shop in Brighton - standing for Guitars, Amps and Keyboards - so maybe he just wants a sweet new axe?
  4. Charlie
    "Double down on some Charlie don't mind if I do!" Is the last line your mate Dave said before he went to A&E for the last time, but look, I've met Charlies and have always enjoyed their company.
  5. White horse
    "I rode the white horse off a cliff last weekend" is an obvious cry for help, or is it a majestic description of an inspiring free spirit determined not to obey society's rules? It's really hard to tell.