Reasons to Wake Up Before 8am

  1. Going to an amusement park
  2. Amusing a park full of underage kids with the fact that your hip is double jointed
  3. School
  4. Family emergency
    (Injury, ruptured organ, etc.)
  5. If there's a dead deer on a road close to your house from a drunk driver hitting it the night before
  6. If it is when your mom gets home from the night before
    With an excessive amount of blood on the hood of her car
  7. Flood
  8. Hail
  9. Rainbow
  10. A cool, fast, loud plane is flying over your house
    And there's a slight chance it's the Blue Angels