Things Dads Do at Family Barbecues
- •Use pounds as a unit of time"Hell, that was 40 pounds ago!"
- •Slowly but steadily drink 15 beers
- •Call the football that the kids are throwing "the pigskin"
- •Unbutton the top 3 buttons of their shirt
- •Hop in the kids wiffle ball game
- •Accidentally let go of the bat during their swing; the bat flies, breaking a glass bird feederThey promise to replace it but everybody knows it will never be spoken of again
- •Accidentally burning 6 burgers, but bringing them to the kids table saying that eating them will "put some hair on their chest"
- •Constantly talk about their high school football stats
- •Get yelled at by their wife's friend for lighting a cigarette while holding the baby