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  1. It claims Sam has been "riding its whiskery coat tails like a lady riding side saddle" for his whole career.
  2. It loves the cool feeling and fruity taste of strawberry daiquiris but Sam never drinks them.
  3. It hates when Sam wears cologne that says "pour homme." It thinks he should only wear scents "FOR DUDES."
9 more...
  1. It's a selfish dick move
  2. Inconsiderate ass-hats don't "own" the internet so stop with the "It's your own fault for not watching quick enough and being on the Internet."
  3. Consideration has no statute of limitations.
7 more...
  1. YOUR PHONE/KEYBOARD IS BROKEN AND YOU HAVE NO CHOICE.
  2. YOU HAVE A NEUROLOGICAL CONDITION AND CANNOT MODULATE THE VOLUME OF YOUR VOICE AND WANT TO ACCURATELY REPRESENT ALWAYS SHOUTING.
  3. YOU ARE COMMUNICATING BY OLD TIMEY TELEGRAM STOP YOU KNOW THE KIND WHERE YOU HAVE TO SAY "STOP" AFTER EACH LINE STOP
2 more...
(Seeing if this option allows others to add to my list or just allows me to add more later.)
  1. Are you into science? I was wondering if you'd like to help me test my bonerometer.
  2. You're definitely not the ugliest person I've wanted to have sex with.
  3. I'll bet you would end up in 7th to 10th place as far as best sex I've had. Shall we test this prediction? Heh. Pre-DICK-tion.
  1. "I make 6 figures a year. Unfortunately, the first one is a zero."
  2. "If everyone had a theme song, the world would be really fucking loud."
  3. "That mattress place had a sign that said 0% interest. If they have 0% interest in selling me a mattress then I have 0% interest in shopping there."
2 more...
  1. 1.
    Live tweeting/posting anything. Especially sports. It's just like I'm there watching play by play! Whether I want to be or not! How about if I live tweet everything I watch? "Oh man! He just killed that dude!" "Holy crap! The Doctor almost died!" "That deck hand had a swollen testicle! DAMN!"
  2. 2.
    Weather posts consisting of single words like "RAIN" or better yet pictures of people's car dashboard temperature readings.
  3. 3.
    Religion/Politics/iPhone vs. Android/PC vs mac posts. So much civil and insightful conversation leading to more open minds and people changing their views! The snarkier the better! I've learned there's not room for multiple opinions in the world! Like Highlander, there can be only one!
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  1. 1.
    When you're tired of taste.
  2. 2.
    I'm very excited about this upcoming role.
  3. 3.
    R2 is my rocking wingbot.
2 more...