WHY I KEEP PUTTING OFF MY FIRST LIST

I drafted a few but they all seem too mean, snarky, dark, or negative — and in some cases, all of the above. Here are some more reasons:
  1. There are so many good lists on here
    And I've got list-paralysis by list-analysis. You guys are good.
  2. My phone is always dead
    I'm still on a iPhone 5, which I know might make me sound like a brat... But I think I have the worst iPhone 5 that ever half-lived. Like if I could go back to the 4s I would — the thing survived long after two toilette dunkings. Simpler times.
  3. I've been watching the @mindy project way too much
    But how much TMP is too much TMP? As Tamara would say: Whistle, whistle, whistle!
  4. Is this it?
    Is this what it feels like to write a list? Am I a part of this now?