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I attend a women's college. One of the real ones though like from the Seven Sisters school. It's a weird place. I love it.
  1. Girls as just as destructive and shitty as guys
    I thought going to a women's college meant clean bathrooms and civil discussion. But instead of finding piles of feces on the bathroom floor you'll find used tampons. Instead of two guys shoving each other for sleeping with the others chick you'll find two girls shoving each other for "wasting" water
I am currently attending an academic institution and want to share what I have learned here...
  1. I am dumb
    In high school I was hot shit. All of my professors loved me and I had an answer to everything. No one was better than me. In college everyone is better than me. No question about it I am the dumbest person in the room constantly
  2. You can't be anything you want
    You're not that smart and you'll never have those types of resources
  3. People actually live on farms
    I had never met anyone who didn't grow up in a large city. What do you mean you have A movie theater?
  4. I don't *actually* want to be an adult
    I couldn't wait to graduate from high school and "start my life" and now I am absolutely terrified about graduating college. I want nothing to do with it. I spend most of my life talking about how I never want to graduate.
  1. The coat epidemic
    When you're walking around the Frat frantically looking for the jacket that you currently have on, it's time to take the jacket off and go to sleep. Shhh... You're ugly drunk
  2. You've lost 2 friends
    If you're like me drinking causes the secrets to start flowing out and friendships begin to breakdown. If you loose one friend due to your big mouth it's okay you probably don't need that many friends anyway but if you lose another you're going to be having brunch alone and that's just really sad. Pack your bag and take your alone ass home
  3. You can't pronounce the drink your holding
    This works in two ways. If you can't pronounce the drink you have in your hand because you're too drunk to make words you need to go home. Yes...right now, leave. But also if you can't pronounce the appropriately themed drink at a party you don't want to have to gargle any "ethnic" concoction that a bunch of 20 year old guys brewed in their shared bathroom. Leave for your own sake not mine.
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As a student I unfortunately have to go to classes with other students who I hate. As an adult (in training) I must be cordial but I can still make a list so SCREW YOU BITCHES
  1. Those who are smarter than me
    In almost *almost* every class I go to there is always one person who is frankly smarter than I am. They answer questions quickly and bring new and fascinating things to discussions. So they must burn.
  2. "Ohhh" Girl
    You know that girl that no matter how big the class is when she understands something that was explained she'll loudly respond with an "Ohh" as if all of the things in her life had aligned and not that the professor just wrote 2+2=4 on the board. This person should not be allowed to procreate.
  3. The fake laugher
    The student who laughs at the professors joke or asides that aren't funny. The professor knows he isn't funny that's why he's not a comedian so having your nose so far up his ass only makes him itchy.
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