HOW YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO LEAVE A FRAT PARTY

We've all been there...
  1. The coat epidemic
    When you're walking around the Frat frantically looking for the jacket that you currently have on, it's time to take the jacket off and go to sleep. Shhh... You're ugly drunk
  2. You've lost 2 friends
    If you're like me drinking causes the secrets to start flowing out and friendships begin to breakdown. If you loose one friend due to your big mouth it's okay you probably don't need that many friends anyway but if you lose another you're going to be having brunch alone and that's just really sad. Pack your bag and take your alone ass home
  3. You can't pronounce the drink your holding
    This works in two ways. If you can't pronounce the drink you have in your hand because you're too drunk to make words you need to go home. Yes...right now, leave. But also if you can't pronounce the appropriately themed drink at a party you don't want to have to gargle any "ethnic" concoction that a bunch of 20 year old guys brewed in their shared bathroom. Leave for your own sake not mine.
  4. You lose a shoe
    This isn't fucking Cinderella. If when walking around your shoe comes away from your body because it has been grabbed by the 2 month old beer residue on the frat floor, it's time to go. Whether you go back for your shoe is a personal decision, I'm not here to tell you how to live your life.
  5. When someone pukes in a red solo cup standing next to you
    Frankly I don't want to go into further detail because it's still too personal. The door is that way...
  6. The shortage
    If the frat bros are only letting you have jungle juice and nothing else even though they CLEARLY have other beverages walk the fuck out. Don't play yourself.