MY NEIGHBORS

  1. The young family that seems normal
    Until you overhear that the dad is killing baby hawks because they're "dirty"
  2. The shut in
    Who is making his way around the neighborhood hand cleaning and polishing the fire hydrants into shiny resplendence.
  3. The family that owns a taxi
    And another car with the bumper sticker about loving the public library
  4. The party house
    With the friends who drive a MAGENTA HUMMER
  5. The old man
    Who shakes his rugs in his front yard every morning
  6. The party house
    With their own handmade corn-hole game that is usually in the middle of the street for ultimate cornholery. (Near parked magenta Hummer, see above.)
  7. The family next door who named all the neighborhood bunnies after manga characters and swears they can tell them apart as they hop by.
    They all look the same. (The rabbits. Not the neighbors.)
  8. The water tower
    An actual water tower
  9. The warning siren
    That screams on the first Wednesday of each month for what feels like forever at 1 pm (right after you put the kids down for their nap). [It's extremely loud and incredibly close.]
  10. That racoon
    That ate out the entire middle of our decorative porch pumpkin.
  11. The squirrel
    Who learned to launch himself from a scraggly bush across the yard in order to get to the birdseed in our feeder and eat it all like the selfish rat-bastard he is. (See the list "Birds that are mad at me," above.)