TODDLER PASSPORT PHOTO SHOOT

So we can go to Mexico. Because we let the terrorists win.
  1. Ok. I need you against the white wall.
    I guess I'll photoshop the hell out of the bad lighting.
  2. Ok. Good.
  3. Wow. I guess we should do this one at a time.
  4. Ok. Harper first.
  5. Smile Harper.
    ???
  6. Maybe a smile with your mouth closed.
  7. Good. That was good. Now look up.
  8. You're right. I should have been more specific. Look straight ahead at me.
  9. MOM I CANT SEEEEE YOU. THE CAMERA IS COVERING YOUR FAAAACE.
  10. Right. I'll move the camera lower so you can. Now smile.
    I'm gonna grab the cameraaaaaaa
  11. Please don't reach for the camera. Try to hold still.
  12. Okay. But I need your head level. Looking at me.
  13. ...
  14. Hmm.
  15. Nailed it.
  16. Never mind. Let's do Calder.
  17. Calder your turn. Can you go stand against the wall?
  18. ....
  19. I see how this is going to go. Can you turn around please?
  20. That adorable! But I need your head straight.
  21. ...
  22. ...
    Meanwhile his sister is laughing in the background further rewarding his antics.
  23. MOM. I NEED YOU TO USE THE FLASH.
  24. (What the hell. Maybe he'll hold still?)
  25. Ok. Now let's do one without the flash.
  26. Maybe not so close. Can you back up and try again?
  27. ...
  28. HALLELUJAH.
  29. Let's try Harper again.
    And they're both laughing.
  30. I need you to move over into the frame Harper.
    Laughing so. Hard.
  31. One more?
    MOM I have a little little tiny chicken. I need to set it down here.
  32. Okay let's take one more.
    NO I don't WANNNNNNA
  33. ...