THINGS THAT ARE NOT FOOD

  1. Gravel
  2. Poison
  3. Ceiling fans
  4. Car keys
  5. Chairs that aren't made out of dried macaroni
  6. Cows who have guns
  7. The Internet
  8. Your neighbor Steve
  9. Definitely not your neighbor Steve
  10. Please stop considering eating your neighbor Steve
  11. Steve is NOT FOOD THAT IS WHY HE'S ON THIS LIST WITH THINGS LIKE CAR KEYS
  12. Son of a bitch, I'm calling the police