WHAT I REMEMBER SAYING WHILE TIPSY LAST NIGHT

I don't need excuses I'd say this stuff soberly
  1. "I'll use this mason jar, I go to school in the SOUTH DAMMIT"
  2. "If Marco Rubio wins there will be way more Pete Davidson on SNL"
  3. "I already miss Jeb!"
  4. I had a full conversation about tacos with the street vendor
  5. I love myself