ALL THE WEIRD THINGS WE DO TO MARK THE END OF SUMMER
Behold: a look at some of the weird things we do at the end of the summer. Oh my gosh, this is summertime sadness isn’t it?
- •We BBQ ALL THE THINGSIt doesn’t even have to make sense. If it’s the end of the summer and we’re going to eat it, we grill it. Because the truth? BBQ sauce just doesn’t taste the same in the stupid winter IT JUST DOESN’T. This is also when we go completely overboard on corn on the cob. I mean, tis the season, right?
- •We perform weird group ritualsIt seems as though an American end-of-summer past-time is hosting a talent show, group sing-along, or even a symbolic bonfire. We are a ceremonial folk and for many of us, winter is waiting right around the corner with bared teeth and a bad disposition, so maybe this is our artistic ode to summer. We dress up in costumes and choreograph dances, we sing hokey camp songs around a fire, and thank the gods of summer for shining down on us, by torturing those very gods with our poor performance skill
- •We suddenly care a lot about fairsIt’s almost cruel how so many state and county and local fairs wait until the end of the summer to show their glorious faces. Why do you think you see so many people sobbing as they eat funnel cakes and fried Twinkies? It’s not guilt, it’s mourning how short and brief their love affair must be. So of course we go crazy. We wait in long lines, we pretend the games aren’t rigged, and we spend one dozen thousand dollars. So if you find yourself visiting neighboring towns’ fairs, don’t be ashamed.
- •We cry over people we might not think about in a monthWhen we leave summer behind, we sometimes have to leave behind those people we spent all summer with, as well. It sucks and we get very, insanely move-worthy dramatic about it. There are very emotional tears, promises to write letters (letters!), lots of extended group hugs, and empty promises flowing like honey. (“WE ARE BEST FRIENDS FOR LIFE, SERIOUSLY.”)
- •We fall suddenly and hopelessly in loveIt’s just around Labor Day weekend when summer romances gets really, really serious. Big plans are made and professions of love are bandied about. If you’re not in a summer romance, this is also when you make your last ditch effort to talk to that cute lifeguard. What have you got to lose? The stakes are relatively low—things will change in a week or two, no matter what.
- •We drive with the windows down no matter whatI grew up in Minnesota, so summers were a flash in the pan. Come late August, the weather would have sometimes already turned chilly-ish, but because we didn’t want to admit that it was over, we would still roll the windows down; even if it meant also turning on the heat. When you live in the North, you make the most of fresh air as long as you can, because before you know it, you’ll be all “R.I.P sunroofs”–don’t say I didn’t warn you.