THINGS I LEARNED GROWING UP AS A NAVYBRAT

  1. "What until your father gets home," takes on a whole new meaning
    When your dad is a deep sea diving naval officer it doesn't even matter if you were not in the wrong. Your a 4 year old nazi and this is a war crimes tribunal.
  2. Making friends is easy. Losing them is even easier.
    Military brats have the unique ability to show up anywhere and immediately become involved in a sand lot baseball game, backyard football or a game of capture. Military brats show up and leave so quickly it's an important skill to learn.
  3. Not everybody gets to live in Hawaii.
    And they don't, it's expensive. Apparently the surfing is great but I was 7 to 12 so I wasn't barrel surfing the north shore. Every few months the sugarcane would be burnt down and a black ash like snow would fall for awhile. It was pretty surreal.
  4. Yearbooks are a waste of money.
    I moved a lot and had many a friend who had yearbooks spanning years with kindergarten pictures of kindergarten kids that now sat next to me as asshole freshman. Again, you make friends and then move so fast that losing touch is as common as a trip to the head.
  5. I had a military ID long before a drivers license.
    Relatively pointless in the civilian world, it did get you on the base, able to make purchases at the exchange, and into the base movie theater that usually featured movies that came out 5 years prior.
  6. I learned my ABC's and the phonetic alphabet at the same time.
    Nothing says Dick and Jane like delta India Charlie kilo and Juliette Alfa November and Echo.
  7. If you arrive 15 minutes early, you are 30 minutes late.
    A military brat would show up early to his execution, be well-groomed, and request a last meal of MRE's. (Meals ready to eat)
  8. Not everyone understands what is meant when you say you need to make a head call, hit the rack, or clear the deck.
    Bathroom, bed, and floor. As a child it took me awhile to understand that nobody in the civilian world understands this shit.
  9. How to pack light and quickly.
    When you spend your young life moving every 3 to 5 years you learn how to pack at lightning speed while also utilizing space in the most efficient manner. I can still move all of my possessions at the drop of a hat and stow it all in a smart car if necessary while others search for extra space in a suburban.
  10. Getting ready for the day takes little to no time at all.
    You take 2 minute showers, shovel chow down your throat and make your bed while everyone else is still wiping sleep from their eyes and waiting for morning wood to subside.
  11. Yes sir, No sir
    Your usage of Mr. and Mrs., sir and ma'am and other polite niceties usually result in your friends parents loving you. Sadly, your friends parents telling their child that they should be more polite like you and could learn a lot usually results in your friend hating you.
  12. How to properly close my bedroom door.
    When I was young and puberty had turned me into a complete dick for its duration, I slammed my bedroom door after an altercation with my Pop. As I lay fuming atop my bed I heard the unmistakable footfalls of my dad ascending the stairs. Upon entering my bedroom he rousted me off my bed and for 45 minutes had me open and close my bedroom door while explaining to me the finer points of door usage. For the next week I had to be on my toes for the occasional pop quiz and demonstration.