THINGS I WANT TO TRY BUT ALSO AM DEEPLY TERRIFIED OF
- •Facial plastic surgeryI'd like whoever did the Olsen twins' noses to do mine. But it's my FACE! What if it goes wrong?!
- •SkydivingIt looks SO FUN but I'm not sure I could ever bring myself to literally fall out of a plane on purpose.
- •Most drugsA junior high health teacher once told my class that one in a hundred people who try cocaine just die instantly. Pretty sure that is a giant lie, but it still totally freaked me out.
- •Colonic irrigationI'm fat enough that I don't imagine it would make an iota of visible difference, but I'm fascinated by it anyway. I bought a groupon for one like six years ago but chickened out.
- •Bleaching my hair whiteI think I might look great? But my hair is so fine and babylike that I'm also scared it will all just burn off
- •Skateboarding and surfingI'm too old and not cool enough and I will hurt myself