THINGS MY DAD HAS SAID TO TRY TO GET OUT OF A TICKET

because it's too easy to just go the speed limit.
  1. "There's no one else on the road!"
    Driving through rural Illinois on our way to a ski trip, my dad gets pulled over for speeding by a state trooper. I am 12 years old in the backseat, listening to Britney Spears on my discman. The state trooper's response was "that doesn't matter, sir."
  2. "We woke the young one up for the festivities!"
    Another ski trip, this time in Colorado. I am 16 and asleep in the backseat. While they did indeed wake me up, I don't think that fact or calling the event "festivities" really helped as my dad was, indeed, issued a speeding ticket.