THINGS THAT DON'T WORK
In my experience, anyway!
- •Green primersMy complexion laughs in the face of green primers that claim to neutralize redness. Maybe if you have a dainty cast of pinkness to your cheeks but my skin is not fucking around.
- •The "cigarette lighter" in my carLol hasn't since I bought the car. Guess I can never charge my phone while driving.
- •Ventra cards, some of the timeThe sound of a Ventra card getting rejected after several seconds of silence while the system tries to process it is burned into my brain.
- •eos lip balmsHate to break it to you but you are buying into the marketing. These do nothing.
- •Waist trainers, probablyUnless your goal is smushing your organs and your rib cage, in which case, mission accomplished.
- •Google mapsI don't know guys, it took my friends and me an hour out of our way on what should have been an easy trip from Chicago to the Wisconsin Dells.
- •The voice command function on Xbox oneWe go "Xbox, pause" and it responds like "Can't 'play music' from here" 😡
- •Sitting and stressing about your problemsI'm guilty of this more than anything but all you've really done is work yourself into a tizzy and the problem still stands.
- •Eating your feelingsFun while it lasts, but it just makes you feel worse in the long run. (I should take my own advice.)
- •Shopping your feelingsAnother fun one! Until you look at your bank account.
- •Changing yourself for someone elseThis doesn't matter if it's a friendship, romantic relationship, family relationship, etc. In the end you either lose yourself, or you find you weren't compatible with that person anyway.
- •Those little built-in shelf bras in camisolesUnless you're in elementary school, I can't imagine this is even remotely effective.