THINGS I NEVER THOUGHT I'D DO

But then I had kids
  1. Catch a baby poop in my bare hands
    It was either catch it or have it land on the rental apartment light colored carpet. Practicality trumps gross.
  2. Develop sorting and storage solutions for variety of cheap plastic toys
  3. Say, "I don't care what so-and-so's mom lets her do".
    I've officially turned into my mother.
  4. Bought teacher gifts
    Ah, nothing like the obligatory ass kissing Xmas gift for the kids' teachers. As if they want another Starbucks gift card, plant, or teacher mug/plaque/ornament.
  5. Owned a trampoline