reasons my library needs a dog

I'm putting this out here in case the CEO ever googles her employees.
  1. at first I thought a pointer or a retriever, for very obvious reasons
  2. think of how great it would be to have a dog trained to point the way to gardening or cookbooks or Roman history?
  3. but really we want a St Bernard
  4. we need a rescue dog in case someone gets lost in the stacks, and nothing is more iconic than a good ol' St Bernard
  5. he can carry spare printer ink in his collar barrels
  6. and think of how giant and fluffy he would be for little kids to cuddle and read on!!!!!