SOME IDEAS I GOT FROM TODAY'S RELEASE OF GO SET A WATCHMAN

I won't be reading Harper Lee's "new" novel. But its publication did give me some good ideas.
  1. Go to a nursing home and befriend a rich old lady. Trick her into putting me in her will and then wait for her to die.
  2. Get my dad to admit lots of secrets to me. When he's very old and no longer self sufficent, tell all of his secrets to everyone.
  3. Bust up a chiffarobe.
  4. Befriend a famous author somehow. Secretly steal some of their journals and notebooks. When they are extremely old and can't think properly anymore and need someone to take care of them now more than ever, sell all of the notebooks for a lot of money.
  5. Just steal from an elderly person
  6. Also tarnish the legacy of an elderly person who can no longer protect it themselves (lol)
  7. Wait outside JK Rowling's house and dig through her trash to see if she throws away some papers that have stories about Dumbledore being a racist on them. This is unlikely, but if it does happen, jackpot!
  8. Write the Great American Novel