1. Pretend you have an assistant so people will think you are important when really you spend 80% of your time waiting for emails to come
  2. Pretend to be a polyamorous so that you can get invited to a sex party and hopefully find some good networking opportunities
  3. Tell people that they will die if they don't buy your product. Make it extra obvious by using lots of red on your sales page along with a photo of Ned Stark's head right above the "buy now" button
  4. Promise a threesome with Idris Alba and Paul Newman from 1965 as a bonus for your product so people will buy it in the first 48 hours
  5. Go to West Virginia and get caught up in a blood feud over Ginseng so that you can make detox tea for a influencer who promises to tweet out your new e-book when you get back
  6. Take a vow of silence for 5 years so you can write a medium post about it