Things That I Know Well Enough to Teach Others

With thanks to @ameliaville for getting me thinking.
  1. What the three numbers on fertilizer bags mean.
    "Up-down-all around." The first number is for growth. The second is for strong roots. The third is for foliage and bushing.
  2. How to write good trivia.
    First, read Ken Jennings' book "Brainiac." If you don't know who Ken Jennings is, go to the back of the line immediately.
  3. Organizing your books.
    Poetry should all be together and more or less organized by author. Other than that, don't organize your books.
  4. What piercings and tattoos feel like and how they scar.
    Facial piercings scar. All of them. Pretty badly. Nipple piercings hurt the most. Tattoo removal is not worse than getting it done; it's about the same (but opposite: tattoos hurt while in progress but not much after- removal is super quick in progress but hurts like a sonofabitch after.)
  5. French braiding.
    Keep adding hair as you go.
  6. Driving stick.
    Step 1: Get a 1990's Honda. Step 2: Find a gated community or a very big parking lot. Step 3: Turn off the stereo cuz you gotta listen.
  7. Legal negligence.
    1. Duty 2. Breach 3. Causation 4. Damages
  8. Coxswain 101
    T/F: 1.) We yell "stroke!": FALSE. Never. Ever. 2.) Some women coxswains on men's teams sleep with some of the rowers. (For "some women coxswains on men's teams" read "I"): TRUE.
  9. The Museum Game
    Improve every museum experience at least 30%, and it's so simple- ask me how!
  10. The Petition for a Writ of Habeas Corpus
    Our best law. My favorite law. And it was stomped on by a little game-changer called AEDPA. Don't get me started. Oooo now I'm mad. I need to end on a cheerful note.
  11. How to make a willow crown.
    Early childhood spent in Sausalito parks. We were little tree goddesses.
  12. How to get B.J. Novak to notice your List.
    1.) Tag him: @bjnovak 2.) Slurp, but don't lie: B.J., The List App is never boring, and sometimes it makes it seem like the whole world is covered in a generous sugaring of great writers and sympatico human beings. It brings to mind Wavy Gravy saying, "We're all the same person, trying to shake hands with ourself."