DATING FOR DUMMIES

I have a lot of questions about online dating - is everyone an idiot? Did all males across the land decide selfies were a thing? Why is everyone shirtless? Am I dying alone? Did anyone proofread their "about me" sections? Based on the following the answer is no.
  1. "Looking for a girl who has it together and likes to have fun without blacking out"
    How many girls have blacked out on dates with you that you now have to list it as a prerequisite. This is concerning.
  2. "I don't mind going out all night drinking with friends but I also don't mind staying in and watching some of my favorite shows. I eat the things I like but I'm always willing to try something new. Real extrovert but I like my alone time"
    WHICH IS IT?!?!
  3. "Looking to meet a pretty lil lady"
    Hope you find her, big guy. But quick q - are you looking for a toddler or an adult woman?
  4. "Your parents will hate me. I will fall short of all your expectations. I will ruin your credit score. But if you let me spend the evening with you, I'll make you the happiest woman in the world for the entire night. Or 15 minutes. Actually probably more like 5"
    I see where you're going with this, but why? Please don't ruin my credit score.
  5. "Will marry foreign chicks for citizenship"
    Solving the issue of immigration one swipe right at a time. Make this guy a member of Congress ASAP.
  6. "Swipe left if you are Caitlyn Jenner"
    0o0o0oh topical! But Caitlyn Jenner would swipe left because of your personality, not because you asked ✌️
  7. "Never been a texter. I'm sure with a quick call, you'll know there's something to be desired."
    ........hard pass.
  8. "Looking for girls to tie up with or without photos and friends/relationships!"
    These two requests seem VERY different to me, but live your truth!
  9. "Must love pogs"
    I swiped right.