HIGH THOUGHTS—DEMOCRATIC DEBATE EDITION

Taking my first bong hit now. Let the high writing commence. (Will probably sober edit tomorrow).
  1. Why you yelling, Wolf Blitzer?
  2. The moderators are hella biased. They should have made Hilary answer the carbon tax question.
  3. But I don't think Bernie can talk national policy against Hillary.
  4. I want Hillary to win. Not because of these bias hosts. I just think she's the Tyrion to Bernie's Danaerys.
    And yes, I do want my daughters to grow up under the first female president of the United States of America.
  5. What does this even mean? "Israel must end its 'disproportionate responses' to achieve peace?"
    Am I too high or is that a poorly worded question? Oh, nevermind. Thanks for breaking that down for me, Bernie!
  6. Oh man, now I'm really liking Bernie.
  7. "Describing the problem is a lot easier than trying to solve it." —Hillz
    Slow clapping her speechwriter.
  8. Fuck yeah, women's health!!
  9. Bernie mentions LGBT rights and Hillary's face is all "Fuck. Should have mentioned the gays."
  10. Hill. All the states you mentioned (except for like 2) were southern states.
    Texas?! That's as south as south gets.
  11. I'm for Hillary. Mr. D loves Bernie.