Personal Statistics I Want To See At the End of My Life

  1. Number of people who've jacked off to my pics (both those I know and don't)
  2. Number of people I've almost dated
  3. How many times I've evaded death
  4. How many hitchhikers I could have safely picked up
  5. How many hitchhikers would have killed me had I picked them up
  6. How much time spent singing the wrong lyrics to a song
  7. How many car accidents I almost got into
  8. How much morphine I've taken total
  9. How many pizzas I've eaten
  10. How much Diet Coke I've drank
  11. How many celebrities I almost had relationships with
  12. How many hours I've spent playing video games
  13. How many people have had crushes on me
  14. How much money spent on books
  15. How many days I've spent in the hospital
  16. How much artificial insulin I've used
  17. How many times I've lied
  18. How many people who've died with me being the last person they spoke too