Dear Sweet Baby Jesus,

  1. Please do not let my mom bring up Hillary Clinton's emails today.
  2. Or The Clinton Foundation.
  3. Or the football player who's exercising his Constitutional Right.
  4. And please, if you can, make her forget to bring that big ass bottle of cheap wine she likes to drink.
    Because she is much less likely to speak about the above when she hasn't had any alcohol.
  5. And please give me the will power to hold my tongue and not mention that she is in fact celebrating a holiday which honors the American worker and the Unions she thinks are spawned from the devil.
  6. And please help me to not mention that she was in fact a left leaning moderate before the era of Fox News.
    And that she actually thought Obama was a change this country needed, before O'Reilly became her voice of reason.
  7. All this I ask in Your name, Amen.