I will most likely love you if
  1. You're nice to my kids
  2. You compliment my cooking
  3. You love books
  4. You don't mention how different my kids look from each other
  5. You're a liberal in a red state
  6. You're a conservative who hates Trump
  7. You say something nice about Hillary Clinton
  8. You have visible tattoos
  9. You're from somewhere I've lived before
  10. You have unpedicured feet and peeling nail polish
  11. You're a man who looks me in the eye
  12. You have a strong handshake
  13. You are nice to animals
  14. You don't smirk or look shocked when I tell you I go to church
  15. You are nice to my husband before you know what his job is
  16. You show me pictures of your kids or your animals
  17. You cuss without covering your mouth after