Rules for mothers
- •Lean inDo not let your children interfere with your career! How dare you let down all the women who fought for your right to work.
- •Do not let other people take care of your kidsSeriously, a nanny? Daycare? You had your kids, you take care of them.
- •Be agelessOr at least embarrassed enough by your aging, gross body to try to fix it. Expensive lotions, painful procedures, and hair dye are your friends.
- •Be your child's playmate and constant cheer leaderHow dare you sit down with your phone for 10 minutes while your child plays without you, at the park.
- •Don't be that helicopter momI mean do you want your children to become big cry baby adults who can't make decisions?
- •Cook gourmet healthy mealsI mean it's that, or poisoning them with preservatives. Your choice, I guess.
- •Never take a selfieDo you think you're a teenager? How self indulgent are you?
- •Exercise and maintain a healthy weightNo excuse for not taking care of yourself. Make yourself a priority.
- •Never complainAgain, your choice to be a mom. Deal with it.