Times I felt like a bad mom

This isn't a list designed to get a "but you're a good mom!" response. But just a list by a good mom who is human, makes mistakes,and is too hard on myself sometimes. Because parenting is really hard y'all!
  1. 1.
    When I had severe depression and anxiety while I was pregnant both times
  2. 2.
    When I hated being pregnant both times
  3. 3.
    When at 34 weeks pregnant with my first son, I was told I had severe preeclampsia and would have to deliver my baby before he was ready
  4. 4.
    When I saw my first born hooked up to machines and I didn't know what to do and I wasn't even allowed to hold him
  5. 5.
    When I had to ask the nurse how to change his diaper
  6. 6.
    When I couldn't produce enough milk
  7. 7.
    When my first born didn't sleep more than 2 hours at a time for the first 4 months
  8. 8.
    When I developed gestational diabetes with my second son and had to take medication because even though I followed the diet perfectly, it still wasn't enough
  9. 9.
    When I still couldn't produce enough milk
  10. 10.
    When I fell asleep with my baby on my chest on the couch
  11. 11.
    When I couldn't get them to sleep in their own bed
  12. 12.
    When I yelled at my boys for yelling at each other (x100000000)
  13. 13.
    When my 4 year old didn't eat anything after 4pm for a month because his Dr said I shouldn't offer anything other than what I made for dinner and that he would eventually break down and eat it
  14. 14.
    When I said fuck it and let him eat cereal every night for 6 months
  15. 15.
    When I didn't know what to say when my then 5 year old asked me "But do you really believe that Nanny is in heaven?"
  16. 16.
    When I lied about my son doing all the required reading
  17. 17.
    When I felt like I was favoring my youngest
  18. 18.
    When I let them watch too much tv (x10000)
  19. 19.
    When I felt the need to explain that my husband's mom had blond hair as a child and that's why Dylan is so light
  20. 20.
    When I expected too much of them(x1000)
  21. 21.
    When I had to get my 3 year old tested for learning disabilities
  22. 22.
    When I was really relieved it was just a speech issue
  23. 23.
    I could go on all night but I'll stop here ❤️