Inventions I Wouldnt Be Mad At.
Apparently laziness is the mother of invention? Or in this case, laziness with a side of absurd.
- •Uber for tailors.Apparently this might be happening!
- •Avocado ripeness alert.I always am cutting into them a day or two early or a day or two late. Tell me when, mofos!
- •Pop-Up-Video-like factoids for parties/running into people on the street.I forget names and the context of how I know someone all the time. And it makes me feel horrible. This would help!
- •Uber for therapists.I don't have a therapist, and sometimes I feel guilty about burdening my friends with my nonsense/wishing for an objective third party. This service would be more about conflict resolutions/smaller issues rather than Freudian therapy, obvi.
- •Soundtracks for books!Ever have that thing when you're reading a book, and the author or characters start taking about a song, and you don't know what they're referencing, so you have to go look it up, and then you get distracted and stop reading? This would solve that!
- •Garbage disposals in which you can dispose of garbage.I break mine all the time because I try to put things like egg shells and lettuce and lime wedges in it. Those things can't go in a garbage disposal, I have learned. Pretty much nothing can. It sucks. Bonus points if the things I put in the garbage disposal somehow magically get recycled/composted somewhere, so that I don't have to deal with/smell it.
- •Uber for car washes.I hate taking my car to get washed. Please come to me instead.
- •Mini elephants, as pets, think: the size of a cocker spaniel or a medium-sized westy terrier.This is my most dear dream, to have an ottoman-sized elephant as a pet. I don't know why I dream of this so much, but I just think it would be so damned delightful.
- •An off button for my brain.Sleep would be so much easier. And yes, meditation and other things, but again: I'm lazy! Make it easier please!
- •Uber for post-dinner-party cleanup.I know there are on-demand housekeeper apps, but none of them want to work the midnight-2 a.m. shift. Sigh #firstworldproblems