It takes one to know one.
  1. Face
    Two words: dehydrated skin. Moisturize, yo.
  2. Hair
    Oily bedhead, I can see your cowlick, or needs a brush: take your pick.
  3. Lunch order
    Kale-salad girl eating a cheeseburger or equivalent? Silly rabbit.
  4. Alphet
    Normally on-point ensemble, suddenly super casual? Or vice versa? Ha.
  5. Hat
    This was my old trick.
  6. Slow
    I know how long it takes to get out of a chair. And it's not that long.
  7. Number of non-alcoholic beverages on your desk.
    Two or more? Hung. Unless you're a beverage slut like me and always have water, coffee, Diet Pepsi, and a juice within arm's reach. Which is rare.
  8. ScarJo voice
    Bar screaming takes a toll on the ol' vocal cords. Or so I hear...
  9. Visible wristbands/bar stamps
    Please, amateur, take/wash it off!
  10. Drunkstagram
    Posting late-night party pics? Busted!