WHY BARTENDING ON MONDAY DAY AFTER A HOLIDAY WEEKEND ISN'T SO BAD

  1. I was an hour and a half late and no boss noticed, because they're all still on Long Island raging
  2. Chef set everything up for me cause he's my boo (and will be rewarded with 4 fingers of bourbon in a quart container)
  3. He was batching lobster rolls, so I ate a bowl of that. If you add the $40 of lobster meat to whatever tips I make, that's a decent day.
  4. I put Looney Toons on every TV, instead of sports.
  5. Nine Inch Nails
  6. Most of my customers are beer reps (I.e my drinking buddies)
  7. The other ones just got out of seeing the Amy Winehouse documentary next door, and need lots of shots cause they're ALL crying
  8. I get weird pleasure out of slicing fruit
  9. Tinder to pass the time
  10. Someone tipped me with a shot of THC tincture a few hours ago