Thoughts I had during the Rio Olympics Opening Ceremony

I decided I needed to be home in my PJs and the Rio Olympics ceremony was on.
  1. The dancing was very inspiring until it turned into an adult teletubby party.
  2. Discussing the potential gardening that will happen tomorrow with my friend as I watch an inspirational segment that is basically just random people sticking their hands in the dirt
  3. Walking first in the Olympics ceremony is literally all that Greece has going for them these days.
  4. Canadians are surprisingly hot
  5. Is anyone playing Pokemon Go right now
  6. I need to pee, this is taking too long
  7. What a great chance to see what people look like from a country when you're too embarrassed to ask
  8. Did anyone know Comoros was a country
  9. Did anyone think for a second the iPhone commercial narrator was a gay Morgan Freeman
  10. I feel like I should start working out again
  11. YES KOREA!!!!!!
  12. I'm pretty sure everyone is just going to jump in and start a giant 80s themed party and we're going to see giant calculators walking around
  13. Denmark—I've literally never seen so many natural blondes grouped together before that wasn't in a magazine
  14. Where do they get the kids holding plants
  15. My bucket list just keeps getting longer and more expensive as I add countries I forgot I want to go to—thanks Olympics
  16. I need to get a GoPro. It's officially OK to use a selfish stick in public. Damn it.
  17. I wish I looked that good working out. If I buy the clothes, does that help?
  18. Are we sure these aren't just a bunch of flight attendants walking around?
  19. When is Michael Phelps coming out
  20. I still have no idea if people are playing Pokemon Go or taking selfies when holding up their phones
  21. Tongo basically offered their flag bearer as a human slip and slide
  22. I absolutely tried to pause the ceremony twice with my apple remote
  23. When is this over I need to go to bed
  24. Oh wait I'm already in bed
  25. How many countries are there
  26. I want cheesy bread
  27. Really wishing I was Brazilian right now
  28. And for the win... OLYMPIC VAGINA!