Real Life Quotes From My Real Life Non Bf

Non BF: When two people sometimes act like they're dating but it's a secret and also there's no real commitment or obligations.
  1. "90% of guys think belly rings are gross 95% of the time"
    (I told him I pierced my stomach)
  2. "It would hurt less if you masturbated more"
    (Wtf man)
  3. "You're not the worst driver I've driven with"
    (This was actually a compliment)
  4. "Wait... You're not a feminist are you?"
    (Do I believe in equality, yeah bud, yeah I do)
  5. "You know the wage gap is a myth"
    (This immediately followed the previous quote)
  6. "Let's talk later, this girl is gonna be back from the bathroom soon"
    (Why respond to my text while you're hooking up with someone else)
  7. "I like the phantom menace"
    (Do I need to explain?)
  8. "Last time I did that she bled"
    (Dude don't say shit like that)
  9. "I think my ass is bigger than yours"
    (Well I'm half your size so yeah probably)
  10. "Sorry it's my day off"
    (In reference to hooking up)
  11. "Let's date"
    (I said no)
  12. "We can't date right now"
    (I asked to date later on)
  13. He was also not always a piece shit, these were just his all star moments