Things I'd Rather Have Than a Boyfriend

I know my priorities
  1. Tater tots available for breakfast every day
  2. A sense of direction
    Both in the sense of knowing how to get places and knowing what I want to do with my life
  3. A gift card to Barnes and Nobel
  4. A dorm room turtle
    I would name it Phoenix and it would rule the dorm with great majesty
  5. The ability to make myself invisible
    But like my clothes too, none of this I have to be fully naked to not be seen bullshit
  6. Tickets to see Billy Joel live
  7. A one night stand with lady gaga
    😍
  8. A week vacation in my own bed with no responsibilities
  9. My parents pride
  10. Ambition
    God I'm the worst