Things I've Failed at in the Last Week

I love failing Bc I'm so good at it, and who doesn't love doing what they're best at?
  1. dying my hair
    I just wanted red at the bottom so people could know I identify with Satan. Is that too much to ask?
  2. Writing my research paper
    It's about premarital sex and divorce, and my only argument is that sex is cool and everyone should have it if they want to, and screw marriage who needs it anyways
  3. Transferring schools
    At some point I have to re send transcripts Bc apparently reapplying to college is harder than breaking into the White House
  4. Going to the bank
    Honestly this was just laziness
  5. Catching up on sleep
    By "catching up" I mean taking naps. Which I only got to do once. I am a complete failure.
  6. Taking selfies with my dog
    This was the best I got, v low quality
  7. Being a decent human being
    I'm just the worst rn