Things I'm not so into this week

And it's only Monday, y'all
  1. The hell of an early monthly gift like obviously not pregnant but thanks for reminding me for the second time this month please leave she doesn't even go here
  2. The lie this box tries to sell me on how my thumb could ever actually open this box of mac and cheese with ease you just make me sad like GTFO of here and let me salt the boiling water with my tears so the shells cook faster
  3. The awkwardness of being called "slim thick" bc it still does not sound like a compliment to me like dear lord please just don't even approach me
  4. The stupidity of having to explain my arm is bandaged bc I fell off my bed and ripped my arm on the metal rail but no I was not drunk I'm just a mega klutz thank you move along
  5. The disappointment of all these horoscopes that tell me my love life will be explosive this month like you don't say that every month you POS garbage tbh I feel like more of a Cancer than an Aries anyways boy bye I mean damn