Times When I Am Definitely a Crazy Cat Lady

  1. I mean. All the time. Like on the reg.
  2. But really
  3. When I get the notification that my camera roll is out of space and I see that of the 230 pictures I took of one cat, only 2 are not blurry, maybe, bc I was trying to get this one shot
  4. Or when I spent money to sit in a room with adoptable cats at Purrington's Cat Cafe in Portland and had to remind myself that I couldn't adopt any cause how the hell was I going to get it 3000 miles back home
  5. Or when my lease only allows a max of 2 cats but there are 4 in the room right now...shhhhhh
  6. Or when I announce to the kitties it's dinner time and describe their meals in an enticing way that Food Network would admire but inside I know it's just canned food and they know it too
  7. Or when I live, every night, with the pain of my legs falling asleep bc the cats sleep on either sides of my legs so I'm pinned down and can't move
  8. Or when I realize I don't actually need to have kids bc I'm already smothered at night by a 20-some lb cat on my chest - which is like having a toddler, right?
  9. Or when I do things like this https://vimeo.com/170898002
  10. Or when I look at Stella and sing to her "I am Henry VIII I am - Henry VIII I am, I am - I got married to the widow next door - she's been married 7x before" bc her white fur looks like those ascots Henry VIII wore in basically all his portraits
  11. Or when I sing "all my kitties love me - all my, all my kitties love me" to the tune of teach me how to dougie when all the kitties rush toward the delicious (canned) confection of a meal I've prepared for them
  12. Or when I named one of my cats Beau bc it also means boyfriend and I'm forever alone but never really alone
  13. Or when I tear up just thinking about how small and sweet and precious they are and how they have mini brains and hearts and souls and may be like Gandhi or Amelia Earhart or Tupac reincarnated
  14. Those are the times