THINGS MY DAD CONVINCED ME OF WHEN I WAS LITTLE

Or, Why I Like To Lie To People All The Time
  1. Cars get pinstripes when they're older
    I had noticed his car had pinstripes for the first time and he told me that they were new because the car was aging. This is also how i learned what pinstripes are
  2. His best friend is an alien named Ixi from the planet Ixtibixtibore. On this planet the land is orange, the water is yellow, and they drink motor oil.
    Ixi was based off a Men In Black figurine. I can't figure out anything about the character online except this one photo
  3. Our goldfish, Otto, did not die - someone broke into our house in the middle of the night and took him to the ocean
    Sidenote that this was my first pet so by rule of thumb my stripper name would be Otto Taranto
  4. The words escalator and elevator are interchangeable