MY THOUGHTS WHEN SOMEONE SAYS "I DON'T WATCH TV"

Dedicated to the douches of the world.
  1. "Why do you hate yourself?"
    Do you not understand that television is one of the greatest bringers of joy in the world?
  2. "Did you think that would impress me?"
    Cause it doesn't. I watch so much TV it borders on obsession. Okay, it is an obsession.
  3. "Are you from another planet?"
    Except I'm almost positive aliens watch "Community" as much as I do. There's totally a Martian with a #sixseasonsandamovie tattoo.
  4. "What do you talk about around the water cooler?"
    Full disclosure: I'm too young to have ever had a water cooler discussion. With that said, I would totally talk exclusively about television around a water cooler, if given the opportunity.
  5. "What are we supposed to talk about now?"
    Since you don't watch TV, I have a to assume you're an uncultured swine so I l guess we can talk about.... The weather? That new building on campus? It's going up so slowly, don't you think?
  6. "I now have a mental list of 350 shows you should watch."
    Get Netflix, clear your scheduled and don't talk to me until you know what I mean when I say "How the turn tables have turned."