Today is my parents' 26th wedding anniversary. So in honor of them "sticking it out" all these years I'm giving all my potential suitors a much-needed heads up re: standards and expectations
  1. Minimum 6"0 height requirement
    At 5"0, I'm biologically programmed to look for a co-breeder that can help me produce adaptable, survivable offspring. Hopefully we will only have boys, because I distrust tall women (5"5 or taller) and am also fearful of them. If we have daughters, I will only accept them if they've received my height genes.
  2. Brains
    What qualifies? SAT score of 2200 or better; a patent under your name; your own brand; demonstrated excellence in a STEM field; minimum two degrees (Master's or Ph.D preferred)
  3. Looks
    See req. #1
  4. Personality
    Someone our kids can get along with easily since I'll be the breadwinner and rarely home/not crossfaded
  5. A mother I can tolerate
  6. A fashion sense, but one I don't question
    It's okay if he's well-groomed, but only to an extent- need I say more?