My Checklist for a Long-Term Romantic Partner
As requested by @saubhagyini
- •You gotta love animals.I get extremely emotional about animals. I feel very strongly about their welfare. I cry about it sometimes. I want a fair amount of pets because I like them more than people. I've been seriously considering going to vet tech school after getting my BA. A love for animals is 100% needed.
- •Also, you gotta understand that my dog and any pet we may have together is of equal (or greater) importance to you.Thems the rules. Sorry not sorry. 😚
- •I don't want children. I promise you I will not change my mind. This is not up for negotiation, so if that's something you need in your life, then I'm not the one. Trust me.If I had a penny for every time someone lowkey condescendingly told me "oh you'll change your mind...if you meet the right person...when you're older...etc" but nah bro. I have my reasons, I don't want to explain them to strangers, but it's also hard to date in your 20s because (for me anyway) my intention is a serious relationship, but I don't want to be like right out of the gate saying "btw idk how you feel about kids but I want absolutely none ever so if that's a problem let me know"
- •Understanding and support of my queerness/willingness to learn about it.This is mostly regarding men I date, but has also been true in the past of lesbians I've dated that weren't as farmilar with the bi/pan/poly part of the community. My queer identity is a huge part of who I am and has been since I was pretty young, I'm not going to dim my flame for anyone.
- •Gotta be on that intersectional feminism.And be someone who is open and willing to learn from those who are oppressed instead of just talking over them, acting like they know better, or ignoring them.
- •Open and willing to learn about and understand the way my mental illnesses and executive dysfunction affect me, how that will effect you, and ways we can work on it together.I've been in relationships where I was blamed and gaslighted because of my depression and anxiety. Not doing that again. You get me, you also get the depression + dysthymia, the anxiety, the executive dysfunction. Sometimes I hide it well, sometimes I don't, but I don't want to not be able to be myself, whatever my mood, in front of you.
- •And some less heavy things...
- •You gotta like concerts.I love going to concerts. I will go to any concert. I will go to all the concerts. Concerts you will be seeing often because I get tickets anytime they're remotely in my area include Billy Joel, Say Anything, Conor Oberst and any and all permutations of, and Fall Out Boy. I'll go to whatever your faves are, I don't care. Let's go to a concert.
- •You gotta at least be willing to attend theatre productions with an open mind.I understand it's not everyone's thing. It is Very Much my thing, and if you're not into it I won't ask you to see something I won't think you'll enjoy, but if I think you'll like something you gotta be willing to try it. And you have to go see Cats with me because it's been my favorite since I was 3 and I don't care that everyone hates it, it's a Very Important thing to me.
- •You gotta like movies.I dated someone who didn't like movies once it was so awful. I love movies. I love going to the movies. I love watching movies at home. Last semester my roommate and I saw at least one movie a weekend, and oftentimes we'd double and go see two in a day. You just gotta like movies. Whatever kind. I'll see yours if you'll see mine. We can discuss.
- •I watch a lot of TV, so like, it'd be cool if you did too.These are my Things. I like media and discussing media. I'll watch your show if you watch my show. We can binge a show together. The couple that binges together stays together.
- •You don't have to like comics, but you have to not get outwardly, like, aggressively annoyed when I start yelling about comics.Because I will. Just don't make me feel bad for liking things and I won't make you feel bad for liking things.
- •Get ready to get used to my fucked up sleep habits.I've had a diagnosed sleep disorder since I was 9 or 10 + chronic low grade fatigue that goes with my depression. Just think of me as a particularly charming cat that stays up at night and then naps periodically.
- •Have an open mind in general.Being open to new thoughts, ideas, points of view is so important. Like what even is life with a closed mind?
- •Be employed.Does this go without saying? I literally do not care what you do as long as you're happy.
- •And lbr here, the sex should be good.I was in a relationship where everything but the sex was fantastic and it didn't last. I'm a sexual person, sex is important to me, so clicking and having good sexual chemistry with someone is important for them staying around on the long term.