HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT

  1. Start working at a hospital- they smell weird so you'll loose your appetite. Plus you'll be so busy taking care of people you'll have no time to break for lunch.
  2. Do an Indian food cleanse. Gross but I have friends who swear by it.
  3. Take NyQuil all the time so that you're always asleep and therefore never eating.
  4. Run a lot and stop drinking.
  5. Pretend hunger is an orgasm and see how long you can make it last.