BEST THINGS TO CALL ME WHEN YOU'RE FORCED TO REFERENCE MY HEIGHT

"She's ya know...the small...she's kind of short...she's a midg--wait they don't like that."
  1. Little Person
    I consider little person the Times New Roman of things you can call me. I'm never going to be mad about it, I understand why you're using it, but you're never going to be given points for creativity.
  2. Dwarf
    People often think I'm going to be offended by this. Nope. I have a condition called "dwarfism" so maybe it's a little on the nose. We can be a bit more free thinking, guys. Axe not included.
  3. Tyrion Lannister-esque
    Are you talking about me being small or referencing my love of whores and wine? Who's to say?!!?! Let's keep 'em guessing!
  4. Hobbit
    Frankly, I wish more people referred to me as a Hobbit because I share their love of walking barefoot, hanging out at home, and eating...a lot. Maybe then people won't be all "you're getting seconds?!" when I'm actually on my thirds.
  5. Half-pint
    Possibly the cutest thing you could call me. When did this go out of the lexicon? Let's bring it back! However, if we're out drinking and you order me something to drink and it's literally a half-pint, I WILL spit in your face.
  6. Short Round
    Mr. Jones! Mr. Jones!