EMAILS FROM MY AUNT CAROL

I love my Aunt a lot and I will probably delete this when this app goes public but sometimes she can be...overbearing. I get an email almost every day.
  1. Woodrow Wilson facts!
  2. She is very interested in my sleeping patterns.
  3. VERY interested.
  4. I have never met these people and I'm pretty sure they're actually 3rd or 4th cousins.
    I'm sympathetic to the breast cancer, that totally sucks but I think me stopping by and doing my stand-up routine is the last thing they need.
  5. Okay, why is Uncle Alan only "hoping" to make it to Alaska? Why are we leaving this up to chance?
  6. We had a black widow problem in our apartment building. Is the "Ant" Carol signature a shoutout to the pest problem? Brilliant.